Domestic violence is a part of many marriages and relationships. It is a sad reality that what should be loving and caring relationships have violence as a frequent component.

Fortunately for those who live in Wake County and Raleigh, North Carolina, there are many resources that can help you.

• InterAct of Wake County – located on Oberlin Road in Raleigh, is a private, non-profit, United Way agency that provides safety, support, and awareness to victims and survivors of domestic violence and rape/sexual assault.
• Raleigh Police Department – has a Family Violence Intervention program and can be reached at (919) 996-3335. Of course, you can always contact the police by dialing 911 in an emergency.
• Wake County Sheriff’s Victims Services Unit – can be reached at (919) 856-5623 or 856-6816.
• SAVAN – 1-877-627-2826. Domestic Violence Victims (where the accused has been arrested) can call this number to find if a suspect is still in jail or can request to be notified when the suspect is released.
• Courthouse in Raleigh – the civil clerk’s office is on the 11th floor of the Wake County Courthouse and you may file a claim for protection under the NC domestic violence statute, NCGS 50B. The clerks there will give you paperwork to fill out and instructions on how to file it. The telephone number for the clerk’s office is (919) 835-3148.

The most important thing a victim of domestic violence can do is find a way to stop being a victim and involve the legal authorities and a lawyer to assist them.

Raleigh Divorce: Four Steps

Divorce and separation can be overwhelming.  If you are thinking about going through a divorce in Raleigh, I suggest you consider the following steps to help you get through it:

Check: There is lots of information on the Internet about divorce and divorce lawyers.  Look for at least two different lawyers and schedule consultations.  Search for experience.  Some lawyers will meet with you or talk to you for free, some charge a consultation fee.

Act: Meet with the lawyers you researched.   Meet with attorney who practices frequently in Wake County and is familiar with the local rules and local attorneys and judges.   Explain your situation.  Give background. Ask questions.  At the end of the interview ask yourself: Do I like this person?  Do I feel comfortable with him or her?

Plan: You are paying for your attorney’s advice and if you did your research you know you can trust your lawyer. Friends and family, although they mean well, are not divorce lawyers.   Heed your lawyer’s advice.

Do: Once you and your lawyer have a plan, work on it.   Take steps to protect your assets.  Try to set aside enough cash or credit to tide you over until property and support matters can be resolved.  Copy financial documents.  Journal custody matters for your lawyer.  These are but a few of the suggestions your lawyer may have.  Again, listen to your lawyer and act.

Preserve Your Rights in Your Raleigh Divorce

If you are thinking about divorcing or are going through a divorce in Raleigh or Wake County, NC this article is very important, so please read it carefully.

The law in North Carolina is that if a spouse does not make a claim for equitable distribution, alimony and postseparation support prior to the entry of their divorce judgment, that spouse’s right to ask for spousal support and division of property is lost forever.

Therefore, if you are filing your divorce in Raleigh at the Wake County Courthouse, or even if you have a Raleigh divorce lawyer, make certain that if you want to ask for spousal support or the court to divide your property in your Raleigh divorce case that you make those claims before the court grants the divorce.

Preserving Your Equitable Distribution Claim

Equitable distribution is the process by which the court divides marital and divisible property between spouses.  The failure to apply specifically for equitable distribution prior to a  judgment of absolute divorce will destroy the statutory right to equitable distribution.  N.C.G.S. § 50-11(e) provides that: “[a]n absolute divorce obtained within this state shall destroy the right of a spouse to an equitable distribution of the marital property under G.S. § 50-20 unless the right is asserted  prior to judgment of absolute divorce . . . .”

Be aware that unless the claim for equitable distribution is specifically preserved in the pleadings, it is not enough to have the words in the divorce judgment “reserving pending claims” if the claims are not pending.

Alimony and Postseparation Support

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-11(c) provides that a divorce obtained pursuant to G.S. § 50-5.1 or G.S. § 50-6 shall not affect the rights of either spouse with respect to any action for alimony or postseparation support pending at the time the judgment for divorce is granted.  The pleading setting forth the claim for alimony/postseparation support, therefore, must be filed and pending prior to the entry of the judgment of absolute divorce. N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-16.2A(a) provides that the pleading must be verified and must set forth the factual basis for the relief requested. You should always include  allegations as to “dependent” and “supporting” spouse and sufficient allegations regarding the parties’ financial standing.

What Should You Do if Must Move as a Result of Your Separation or Divorce?

Moving is stressful under normal circumstances.  Moving is very stressful if it is the result of a separation or divorce.

Often, in the current economy, neither party is able to keep the marital residence and there are moves by both parents to new homes.  Frequently one spouse will want to move out of the marital home.

Here are some suggestions to make the process of moving less stressful:

• If you have children try to stay in the same school district where they have been enrolled in school.  For example, if the children are both enrolled in Enloe High School in Raleigh, seek out a new residence nearby that would not automatically require a change in school.
• Make certain you and your spouse are in agreement on who gets what personal property.  Don’t wait until the move to settle this.  Settle this before the separation if possible.
• Organize your move and use it as an opportunity to get rid of things that neither you nor your spouse wants to keep.  Some items may be good charitable contributions.  A good charity is the Salvation Army.  They have a drop off location and thrift store at 205 Tryon Road in Raleigh.
• Hire a mover or recruit friends and family to help.   Don’t try to do this yourself.
• Forward your mail and provide your new address to:

1. Your lawyer
2. Friends
3. Family
4. Church
5. Work / Employer
6. Doctors/Dentists
7. Organizations you belong to (alumni, community, etc.)

These suggestions should help your move easier and less stressful.

Don't Dress Like This Guy

When you have to make a court appearance at the Wake County Courthouse in Raleigh, whether it is for a pre-trial motion, a custody hearing or your divorce, it can be a nerve-racking experience.

There are many things during the appearance that are complex legal matters that your attorney will address.  However, there are some basic things you can do that will help you.

The way you dress and your overall demeanor in the courtroom will influence how you are perceived by the court.  How you are perceived by the court will have an impact on the result you get.

Dress for Success in Your Raleigh Divorce Case:

How you dress can be an extremely important part of a court appearance.  The dress code in court is pretty basic in nature and is really nothing to be intimidated by: dress professionally and conservatively.

No matter what your feelings are about having to be there (after all, who really WANTS to be in court?), the court deserves the respect of those who appear before it.  You should dress in a way that conveys respect for the situation.  After all, you are not going to a basketball game.  You are going before a decision-maker who can and will make a decision affecting your future.

A good reference point is to dress as if you were attending a formal business meeting such as a job interview at a bank.  For instance, a male attending his court appearance should wear a suit if they have one, but if not at minimum should wear some combination of a sweater, button down shirt and slacks.

Here are some more tips:

• Dress conservatively.
• Don’t try to make a fashion statement in the courtroom.
• Don’t wear loud colors.
• Dont wear a hat, clothes with slogans, or short pants.
• Wearing sun glasses in a courtroom is not a good idea.
• Avoid flashy jewelery.

The Right Attitude for Your Raleigh Divorce:

Along with your dress, your overall attitude and demeanor at the courthouse in Raleigh is vital.  Here are some further tips:

• Make sure to be on time.  When we show up on time for anything we are sending a message that we are taking that event seriously.  Traffic in downtown Raleigh is congested and parking can be difficult.  The address for the courthouse is: Wake County Courthouse, 316 Fayetteville Street, Raleigh 27601.  There are several parking decks, but the one at the corner of Davie and McDowell Street is easy to find.  I suggest planning on getting to the parking deck no later than 8:20am if your hearing starts at 9:00am.
• Be professional and polite.  Resist outbursts of any kind, even if statements are made you do not agree with.  All of your actions will be closely scrutinized by the court and you need to act accordingly.
• Don’t limit to being professional and polite to the courtroom,.  For example, do not talk about your case in the elevators.  Judges and court personnel use the same elevators.
• Be prepared.  The court’s time is valuable.  Do not be disorganized.  Your lawyer should help you with this.  If yo do not have a lawyer, make sure to have copies of important documents and have an outline of what you plan to say.

Why does how you dress and how you act matter?  It’s human nature.  Whether we want to admit it or not, we give credibility to statements from those who act and look professionally.

Credibility is key in a courtroom.   Judges have to determine credibility of parties and witnesses and they will use the same common-sense approach that we all use.

Raleigh Divorce: What to Do When Things Go Wrong

Not every case turns out the way you think it should.  Judges are people too: they sometimes make mistakes and they frequently get things right.  If you want proof of this, read over the decisions from the NC Court of Appeals where appellate judges review decisions by district court judges.  Better yet, go sit a day in family court on the 8th floor of the courthouse in Raleigh; you will get a notion of how difficult the job of the district court judge is.

What is the role of the judge in your Raleigh Divorce?

There is nothing in a judge’s job description about making people happy.  The basic job of the judge  is to apply the law to cases in a fair and just manner.  They administer justice.  They also have to make decisions using their judgment and often there is a great deal of latitude in what a decision could be and still be correct.

Take, for example, a custody trial.  North Carolina law requires the district court judge to make a custody decision based on the best interest of the child.  This standard has been around a long time and, in essence, requires the judge to consider evidence and make findings about what custodial arrangement is best for a child.

The court also has the job of putting weight on evidence and deciding on the credibility of witnesses.

What all this means is that if the judge carefully drafts the custody order and makes findings and rulings that are based on the judge’s view of best interest, the decision very likely will not be changed on an appeal.

What if the judge makes an error of law in your Raleigh Divorce?

Legal errors are errors or mistakes that a judge makes when either applying the wrong law or not applying the law properly to a case.

An example of a legal error is if a court order does not have findings of fact and conclusions of law.  Another (very rare) legal error would be if the judge prohibited a party from calling witnesses without any cause.   There are many examples of legal errors and every case is different.

If you think the judge made a legal error or mistake in your case, talk to your attorney.   Seek out a second opinion from another Raleigh divorce lawyer . Also, in many cases kinds of cases such as child custody, the district court judge only has a few rules to follow

What options are available to correct a judge’s mistake in a Raleigh Divorce?

The options are either a motion for relief pursuant to Rule 59 and Rule 60 of the NC Rules of Civil Procedure and/or an appeal.  All of these options are complex and have specific requirements that must be complied with.

For example, the Court of Appeals has said that temporary orders are generally not appealable.  Also, there are specific time requirements for request for relief.

In some situations the order of the court may be modified with an appropriate motion.  For example, custody, child support, and alimony may be modified if there is a change in circumstances in the future.

How much time do I have to address an order that has errors in it?

Unfortunately, time is not on your side.  As soon as you get the order you should schedule an appointment with a Raleigh divorce lawyer to review it.